The Duality of School

Making space for excitement and loss.

By: Elizabeth Burk, Registered Associate Marriage & Family Therapist #122958

Under Supervision of Sarah Jane Cella, LMFT#105989

Sometimes beneath the hustle of back to school preparations is a range of emotions needing to be processed. Both children and caregivers may experience conflicting feelings as they anticipate another school year. Slowing down and spending time acknowledging the varying feelings that come up can help families cope with this transitional milestone in a more connective and less distressing way.

Spending time encouraging children to vocalize the mix of emotions they may be feeling creates opportunities for connection, which in itself can ease families back into the transition of school. For example, talk through the fear of starting something new; the sadness at separating from each other; and the joy at playing with friends. Overall, normalizing the heart’s ability to hold contrasting emotions helps children come to greater insights about themselves, building in resilience for inevitable times of destabilization. An added bonus: this regulation tool benefits home and classroom!

Parents can also connect to themselves and make space for the range of emotions they may experience during this time. Milestones like a new school year are strong reminders that parenthood includes deep happiness and deep sadness — the holding onto children and the releasing of them. Showing self compassion and grace allow caregivers to be more present, and ultimately better able to ride the wave of emotions that may accompany a new start. Accessing outside help can be a valuable option when emotions feel particularly overwhelming.

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