Connect through Color - Bringing Understanding to Emotions
By: Elizabeth Burk, Registered Associate Marriage & Family Therapist #122958
Under Supervision of Sarah Jane Cella, LMFT#105989
Identifying Emotions Using Color
Alleviating distress can start by identifying our feelings. For young children, understanding the nuance of emotions can be challenging. Describing emotions through colors is an age-appropriate tool that can help little ones and their caregivers gain insight into their internal worlds. These types of meaningful conversations create grounded connection.
The Power in Naming our Feelings
Many caregivers seek help because they want to change how they react to various family stressors. They want to gain patience. They want to better understand the behaviors from their children. A place to start can be identifying the feelings underneath reactions. As psychotherapist Dr. Dan Siegel says, “Name it to tame it.”
Parenting can trigger a mix of complex feelings, and multitasking can deprive caregivers of needed processing time. However, taking a pause to check-in with the body to see what emotions are present is a powerful first step in naming the core feelings. Creating space to name the emotions can offer enough insights to react in a way that matches intentions. What might this look like in action?
“Hey buddy, time to leave the park.” A tantrum begins. Before reacting, pause. Check-in with your feelings first. Maybe sadness emerged because your child is upset. Or anger because you feel out of control in this moment.
Next offer understanding for your child by naming the possible feelings: “Oh buddy, it makes sense you might be feeling sad to leave something fun; or also angry because you want to stay and we can’t.” Naming the feelings can bring down reactivity. Having checked-in with your feelings first, you created space to better connect to both yourself and to your child.
The more often parents connect to their feelings and emotions by naming them first, the more tools the family has for responding in more grounded and less reactive ways. Ultimately, making space for feelings leads to understanding and connection, mainstays for alleviating distress.